In the last year, I’ve been on more than 60 flights. And I’m afraid of flying.
For the last 10 years, I’ve had a fear of flying. At one point in my life, it was so crippling that I cried before every flight. I knew I had to find a way to cope if I was going to continue seeing the world. Today, I’m still anxious every time the wheels of an airplane leave the ground.
However, through years of trial and error, I’ve found anxiety-relieving tactics that work for me. I no longer lose sleep over my upcoming flight or second-guess booking a vacation. Here are the six things I always do to ease my fear of flying and get back into the skies.
In this article
Read “Cockpit Confidential”
Knowledge is power. I learned that by reading the book, “Cockpit Confidential: Everything You Need to Know About Air Travel: Questions, Answers & Reflections,” written by commercial airline pilot and travel writer Patrick Smith.
It’s become my primary resource for conquering a fear of flying as it takes nearly all of the outlandish thoughts I have and explains how they not only can’t happen, but that when things go wrong, the aircraft is still equipped to make a safe landing.
After reading this book, I finally believed that air travel was safe and that the many hands involved in my flight had thought of everything.
Tell a Flight Attendant That You’re Nervous
Flight attendants fly every single day, and they can be a helpful resource to nervous travelers.
I myself have told flight attendants upon boarding that I was a nervous flyer, and even briefly sharing my fears helped to give me a sigh of relief. Knowing that someone on the flight knew about my fear made me feel less alone. Every time I have shared my anxiety, the flight attendants checked in on me. I’ve also had flight attendants inform me of upcoming turbulence, ask how I was feeling, and even hold my hand and tell me it was okay.
And you don’t need to be shy about it. American Airlines flight attendant Leah (who asked that we withhold her last name due to privacy reasons) shared, “It can actually be helpful to us as flight attendants to let us know if you have a history of flying anxiety and may need assistance during the flight. If you discreetly let one of us know during boarding, we can work together to keep an eye on you and be prepared to provide aid if the need arises.”
Leah also shared with me that “It may sound cliché, but connecting with people and being able to help make passengers feel more comfortable while flying is one of the more rewarding aspects of this career.”
Have a Seat Strategy
I’ve found that much of my fear of flying comes from a lack of control. However, one thing I can control is where I sit.
Flight attendant Leah agrees, adding, “Taking a few minutes to make a seating strategy for yourself can definitely help ease flight anxiety.”
On longer flights, I’ve found that booking an aisle seat eases my anxiety because I have more room and I feel less “trapped” on the aircraft. However, on flights of an hour or less, I prefer to take a window seat so I can “see” what’s happening and know that my airplane is cruising along as planned.
Check the Turbulence Forecast
Remember that 'knowledge is power' tip? It extends to turbulence, too. Knowing bumpy moments are approaching so they’re not such a shock can be really helpful. One way to do this is by downloading an app like Flying Calmly, which can predict turbulence much like any other weather.
Within 24 hours of my flight, I can share the flight number and receive a typically accurate prediction of my flight’s turbulence. I find this information helpful when my flight gets bumpy because my brain knows it's “expected” and part of the plan.
Another feature of Flying Calmly is the in-flight instruments. For me, this serves both as a tool and a distraction to keep my mind occupied when I’m getting antsy. The in-flight instruments show you how much the plane is “moving” during turbulence and also the pitch and roll of the aircraft. When you see these tools first hand, your brain sees how little the aircraft is actually affected by the turbulence.
Create an In-Flight Routine
On long-haul flights, I always watch “Mamma Mia!” Why? It’s light-hearted and fun to distract me. More importantly, I’ve watched it on every single flight over six hours, and I’ve landed safely every single time.
Whether I watch the same movie or not won’t affect whether we land safely. However, my brain has now associated a specific activity with a safe flight. For you, it might be listening to a specific playlist during takeoff, playing a certain game on your phone, or re-reading your favorite book. For some people, following a specific routine is part of a calming process that lets them know their flight will be like any other they’ve taken: safe.
Visit the r/fearofflying Forum on Reddit
The r/fearofflying forum on Reddit is my favorite corner of the internet.
On any given day, I’ll find hundreds of other folks who are struggling with the same anxiety I am. For every person who posts that they are afraid, there’s another user reassuring them they’re safe, offering to track their flight, and posting photos of what they would have missed if they didn’t take that flight.
When I get nervous about an upcoming flight, I check this forum and quickly remember that thousands of people fly every day and how much I would miss out on in life if I let my fear control when and where I travel.
The Shortcut
Anxious travelers can overcome their fear of flying by practicing coping strategies that help them build confidence with every flight.
Telling flight attendants that you’re nervous can offer reassurance and help you relax on a flight.
Utilizing a seating strategy, following a routine, downloading a turbulence map, and educating yourself on flight safety can ease flight anxiety.
